- Written by one of our Why Not Presenters
“I’d like to tell you a story of how I came to be. It involves two loving parents who I appreciate very much. The thing is, they were never married. They were in a dating relationship when I was born and stayed together for the first few years of my life. However, things were not great forever in their relationship, and they split apart when I was beginning school. They both stayed a part of my life, but things were more complicated now for all of us. I mostly lived with my mom as I grew up, except for visiting my dad every other weekend. My day-to-day life was mostly without a father present in the house, and my mom took on both parental roles. I do not remember being unhappy about this as a child, but as I grew older, I realized how much simpler it would have been if they were in a committed marriage relationship. It would have been easier on my parents to have shared the responsibility of raising children more equally. It also might have allowed me to have a closer relationship with my dad, which is something that I am now working on developing more.
“The Why Not program teaches students to think critically about the reality of having a child at different times in life. The students are encouraged to consider having the responsibility of raising a child both when they are in a committed, loving relationship and when they are not in one. One statistic from the Annie E. Casey Foundation states, “In the United States today, nearly 24 million children live in a single-parent family. This total, which has been rising for half a century, covers about one in every three kids across America.” Apart from these numbers, the way Americans view this scenario has been determined: “A 2015 Pew Research Center survey found that the trends toward more single women having children and more unmarried couples raising children were seen as relatively more harmful to society, compared with other changes in American families” (Pew Research Institute). This survey captures the public opinion of society and is part of the reason the Why Not program focuses on empowering students to make the best choice concerning their sexuality.
“Not everyone will become unexpectedly pregnant when they engage in sexual activity, but once someone makes that choice, they are exposed to that risk. Unplanned pregnancies still happen in marriage relationships, but it is often less stressful when two partners are committed to raising their child together. Choosing delayed gratification and putting sex off for the future can help individuals reach their goals for a healthy future. I appreciate that young people are getting the opportunity to hear of the benefits of making healthy decisions, because I think it will help prevent some of the struggles that my family and thousands of others go through.”
Sources:
https://www.aecf.org/blog/child-well-being-in-single-parent-families